Finally Home!

For a while, I didn't think my humans were ever come back home, but they finally showed up! Actually, I should have known a few minutes before they arrived. I wasn't sure, but I thought I heard Karli screaming from Lee Road. I think she was tired of that jail on wheels. (At least I was just in house arrest!).

It's amazing, my humans get home, and Brother Barry disappeared. Now I don't know that I'll ever finish getting him trained..., and he was making progress! Oh well, maybe his wife will complete the job.

Well, with everybody back home, I stay quite busy, so I don't know how much more I can do with the blog. We'll just have to see.

Boy, I'm glad to see those dirty plates again!

Lady

Wash Nixie!

Bro. Barry, you need to wash Nixie. She's got a definite odor problem. Here is how to do it:

1. Thoroughly clean the toilet.

2. Add the required amount of shampoo to the toilet water.

3. Obtain the cat and carry him to the bathroom.

4. In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and close both lids (you may need to stand on the lid so that he cannot escape).

CAUTION: Do not get any part of your body too close to the edge, as his paws will be reaching out for anything he can find.

5. Flush the toilet three or four times. This provides a "power wash and rinse" which I have found to be quite effective.

6. Have someone open the door to the outside and ensure that there are no people between the toilet and the outside door.

7. Stand behind the toilet as far as you can, and quickly lift both lids.

8. The now-clean cat will rocket out of the toilet, and run outside where he will dry himself.

Sincerely,

Lady (he he he)

How many dogs to change light bulb?

It depends on the kind of dog.

Golden Retriever: The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got our whole lives ahead of us, and you're inside worrying about a stupid burned out bulb?
Border Collie: Just one. And then I'll replace any wiring that's not up to code.
Dachshund: You know I can't reach that stupid lamp!
Rottweiler: Make me.
Boxer: Who cares? I can still play with my squeaky toys in the dark.
German Shepherd: I'll change it as soon as I've led these people from the dark, check to make sure I haven't missed any, and make just one more perimeter patrol to see that no one has tried to take advantage of the situation.
Jack Russell Terrier: I'll just pop it in while I'm bouncing off the walls and furniture.
Old English Sheep Dog: Light bulb? I'm sorry, but I don't see a light bulb?
Cocker Spaniel: Why change it? I can still pee on the carpet in the dark.
Chihuahua: Yo quiero Taco Bulb.
Pointer: I see it, there it is, there it is, right there ...
Greyhound: It isn't moving. Who cares?
Australian Shepherd: First, I'll put all the light bulbs in a little circle ...
Poodle: I'll just blow in the Border Collie's ear and he'll do it. By the time he finishes rewiring the house, my nails will be dry.
Lab: Oh, me, me!!!!! Pleeeeeeeeeze let me change the light bulb! Can I? Can I? Huh? Huh? Huh? Can I? Pleeeeeeeeeze, please, please, please!

But I know better!

Dogs do not change light bulbs. People change light bulbs. So, the real question is: How long will it be before I can expect some light, some dinner, and a massage?

Cricket (the Dawson's number one CAT)

Break In!

Brother Barry thinks someone broke into the house. I know better. After all, I've been here the whole time. If someone had broken in, I would have chewed him up or licked him to death. Nobody broke in!

When he went to scoop out Nixie's box, he discovered that the pooper scooper was gone. He always keeps it right by the box, near the mattresses, but it was not there. He looked all over for it, then started mumbling to himself while he went to get Cricket's. Well, at least, he got the job done.

Lady

Strange Week

What's going on this week?

First, Bro. Barry brought another man this morning when letting me out for my ______. He must be royalty, something about being a prince.

Brother Barry looked awfully tired, almost like he didn't sleep last night.

Then, no one is updating their blogs. I keep checking for my humans, but alas --- nothing.

Then Mrs. Debbie was back this evening. We went for a walk, but it was short. They didn't want to get wet in the rain. I don't know why; it's fun and cooling.

The next door neighbors were acting strange today as well. They were outside hitting a ball around a pole. When Bro. Barry asked who was winning, they said, "the pole." Oh, well.

Gotta go to my post,

Lady

P.S. June was more cheerful today. That's good.

What happened to them?

Well, I've been watching their blog at Dawson Diary, but they haven't posted anything in a few days. I hope nothing is wrong.

Bro. Barry came over today, but his wife didn't. It seems that she might be gone. But the preacher and I did go for a walk.

You know what? He sat down at the kitchen table to eat a hamburger. I sat and watched and watched and watched. I thought he was never going to drop something, but ahhhh! Finally!

June seems to be in recluse. She doesn't come out of her cage very readily when Bro. Barry tries to get her out. I think she misses the other rat.

Bro. Barry seemed preoccupied today, as if something was wrong. I've been trying to teach him barkerise, but he is a slow learner, so I guess he can't tell what's up.

All the others are OK --- Sky Blue, Blizzard, Cricket, Nixie, and I really think June is OK, too.

Well, gotta go.

Lady

Mommy! Mommy! Nixie's been pooping on the swimming pool!

Whew! I went into the garage with Bro. Barry, and I thought I would pass out. You could cut the odor with chain saw!

Bro. Barry is not so bad. He took the pool out, washed it down with the water hose, put some water in it to hold it down, and left it to air out (or should that be "water out"). I think he needs to leave the garage door open for a while, though. Maybe, I'll tell him tomorrow, if I can ever teach him barkerize.

Lady

P.S. You gotta get me some snausages. There almost as good as dirty plates!

Trying to Drug Me?

Ok. so what in this box --- "Drug Facts". What is Bro. Barry feeding me? No wonder I haven't had an appetite for birds!

Cricket

Update

Hey, humans! Just in case you have found my blog, I thought I would give an update.

Sky Blue, Blizzard, Nixie, Cricket, and June are doing fine.

BUT, I don't know what Bro. Barry is doing. He comes to take me for my neighborhood patrol, but every time I get to the end of the leash, he says, "easy" and gives the leash a snatch. Quite annoying! I'm beginning to figure out how to outsmart him, though. I just don't get to the end of the leash.

Then, several times on the patrol, he tells me to heel. If I feel like it, I come back to him and walk right by his side. If you ask me, its a waste of time except for that snausage he gives me. Pretty tasty!!!

Well, gotta get my beauty nap.
Bye

Lady

The Claw

I don't know what that thing is, but it sure has a horrible appetite.

If it ever attacks me, I'm a goner.

Head Ringer

Ouch! My head! Why couldn't they put those rungs further apart?

Nixie

Curiosity Killed the Cat

Curiosity killed the cat, but not me. hehehe.

Where is that cat anyway?

June

"Who rang the dinner bell?" - a duet written and performed by Sky Blue and Blizzard.

When, Oh When?

This picture is just not as warm as the real thing. Oh, well!

Cricket

Where? Oh, Where? Are my humans gone?

Bro. Barry is funny (doesn't taste too good, though), but I really miss MY humans. When will they be back?

Stolen Pictures

Finally, I did not have to spend all day by myself. Bro. Barry's wife stayed here all day (working on a computer). Some of the time, she took pictures. While she wasn't looking I gnawed on the camera and got them. Thought you might enjoy the best one.

OK. It's time to walk! Now, Bro. Barry, be still so I can get the collar on you!

Different Day for the Dog

Well, today was different. Bro. Barry did not come this morning. Instead, his wife did. She put me outside several times, but who wants to be out there alone?

Then I thought they had forgotten me this evening. It was already dark before they came over. I was so excited that I knocked Bro. Barry on the steps. Of course, if he would just do his job, I wouldn't need to do that. Oh well, maybe he will survive.

Weird! He started carrying this claw-like thing today. It has a bag on it. When I stopped to ...... you know. That claw gobbled up my ... you know. I don't know why Bro. Barry doesn't just pick it up with his hand. Doesn't he ever have to go??

Cricket actually came out of the bedroom today. I think she might be missing the humans. Every time Nixie starts to climb up the ladder to get her food, she bumps her head. Blizzard and Sky Blue just flutter around. June mopes around some, but she's getting friendlier.

Gotta go. I sure hope the humans come home soon.

So that's where they are!

I haven't seen them for almost a week --- my humans, I mean. I didn't understand at first. But I finally started looking at this computer and found the Dawson Diary blog. It looks like they have left for some place named North Dakota.

I guess I should have known something was happening. They pulled the camper out of the garage for the first time since they have been in this house and started pulling it with a new van that they bought.

Then, last Thursday, it was hectic here. They were running all around the house grabbing clothes, groceries, and just about everything else you can think of. Then they put it all in the camper and van. Then, that morning, they left with everybody in the van, pulling the camper. I have not seen them since.

OK. They often times go away from house, but they don't usually take the camper. "But they'll be back like normal," I thought. But they didn't come back. North Dakota must be a long ways from here.

About the time I was getting worried about my dinner, Pastor Barry came over and took me for my walk. That was good, because I need to make sure that there are no threats and leave indication that this is MY neighborhood. The first walk was usual, but after a few days, Bro. Barry started doing strange things. I'll have to tell you about that later.

Well, I'd better go now. I have to check on the rest of the animals. I guess I'm in charge since I'm the biggest.